Your tits are I can't wait for
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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