Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
