weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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