Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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