Are we in a gay sports bar?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
