i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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