Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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