Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
