you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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