I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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