Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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