Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
