He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
