I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
