I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
