I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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