the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
