Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize