It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
