I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
