He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Randomize
