We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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