I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
