Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
