The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
