I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
