You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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