eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
