haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
You made out with two different species that night
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
