Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
