We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
