ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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