Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
