Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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