If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
