ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
