One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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