I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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