Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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