I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
