Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize