Where are you?
In a non slutty way
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
