Having a random hookup so left but love u
I am puke
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
