Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
