you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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