I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
