Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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