I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
