i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
