I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
