Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
only if we run a train.
done.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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