so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
