it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Randomize
