fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How external is "for external use only"?
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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