He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
