Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
