vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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