the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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