My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
