who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
