In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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