I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
