Already got asked if we're dating
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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