We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
