textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
